GUMPisms! Rules to LIVE by...

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GUMPisms! Rules to LIVE by...

Postby Greg » Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:01 am

Rules are made to be followed, but there are exceptions to all rules- and I am one of them.

If you go to the zoo, always take somethin' to feed the animals- even if the signs say "Do NOT Feed Animals." It wasn't the animals that put them signs up.

Bein' a idiot is a lot of fun when ain't nobody lookin'.

It is one thing to talk bullshi$; it is another to believe it.

If you can't see the bottom, jump in, don't dive.

Mediocrity killed the cat.

Never wear a belt and suspenders at the same time; people might think you are paranoid.

Don't poke sticks at the monkeys.

Honesty is the best policy unless your a crook.

People say the earth is round. But you don't have to believe it if you don't want to.

If you see a guy beatin' his dog, whip his a$$ on the spot.

Do not buy stuff you cannot afford, unless you really want to.

Ignorance is the key to everthing in life. An ignorant peoson is constantly surprized.

Do not sweat the small stuff; for that matter, do not sweat at all, as it will save you money on deodorant.

Don't trust nothin' except your instint.

Try not to forget your telephone number.

If somebody says you have a problem with ignorance and apathy, just say,"I don't know, and I don't give a shi$."

When ever somebody says "I am here to help you," hold on to your wallet.

If you have to make a choice between a clean mind and a clean body, it oughtn't to be no contest.

Do not get drunk around strangers!

When the shi$ is about to hit the fan, DO SOMETHIN'-- even if it is wrong!

Don't try to outrun nobody if you're wearin' sandals.

If you're gonna screw up, do it while you are young. Older you get, harder it is to bounce back.

Do not make excuses unless you have to.

Do not cuss,holler, pee, or otherwise call attention to yourself, as it will probably get you in trouble.

A beggar is no different than you or me, 'cept he ain't got no money. Always keep some spare change to give a beggar.

Always try to do the right thing, unless your conscience tells you otherwize.

To save money, do not go out lookin' for trouble; chances are, it will find you soon enough.

Remember this: peace of mind over peice of a$$.

You got to cry, do it by yourself, and be quick about it.

Most people don't look dumb till they start talkin'.

Do not EVER roll dice with a guy called "Bones".

To each, his own ca-ca smells sweet- but do not be fooled by this.

There are times when you cannot let the right thing stand in your way.

Remember this: while somebody is down there kissin' your butt, they could just as easily be bitin' it, too.

When you think you're so low you gotta look up to look down, beat yourself hard on the foot with a stick for a while. At least you will feel better when you stop.

Nobody ever got in trouble by keepin' his mouth shut.

Life can be one big toilet, so for all our sakes, don't make waves.

Dream, but don't quit your day job.

If you can't sing good, SING LOUD!

Keep your bullshi$ detector in good workin' order.

Alot is to be said for the word NO.

You may be an idiot, but try not to be STUPID!

Do not try to cut your own hair.

The Wit and Wisdom of Forrest Gump-
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Postby CdoG » Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:30 am

thanks greg
heres one for you.
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Postby Greg » Fri Mar 07, 2008 5:41 am

Thanks C-dog, but I wish you'd written it down in text for me..
I'm not checking out links becouse I'm working on Mary's p.c. and dont want to chance picking up bugs- (she uses this thing for work you know and if dont keep workin'- I'd starve).

Ah, the vertues of being a boy-toy..
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